Wednesday, July 22, 2015

41 States and Counting

Our vacation travel windows are closing. Between Karen's job and teaching schedule and whatever weirdness I'm up to, we have a limited period in July and August to go...somewhere.

We considered Scandinavia, but too far. We toyed with the South; too hot. Then we remembered we love lobster rolls and we've never been to Maine, so yeah, let's go see some lighthouses and eat enough shellfish to bring on the gout.

Of course, that idea quickly evolved into driving up to Quebec City, then on to Montreal. Because after consuming your weight in crustaceans what you need is a toddler-sized portion of foie gras. I do not mean the child plate; I intend to eat a goose liver the size of an 18-month-year-old.

For the record, the nine states remaining include much of the Deep South, Alaska, Delaware (the land the Republic forgot), and North Dakota (the land everyone forgot, including the people who live there).

On the off chance that anyone still reads this piece of Internet effluvia, leave a comment. The most inspired and most specific (return address, household members, etc.) may become the beneficiaries of Maine's coastal bounty.*

*No purchase required. Must be 18 months or older. Not applicable in Alaska, Delaware, or North Dakota. Pregnant women should consult their physician before acquiring the gout.

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