Scientific Breakthroughs

Turns out, Maine is almost so impossibly Maine-like, it's hard to describe. Thus, the invention of a new instrument to measure the Maine-ness. K-Ron came up with it first: the Maine-o-meter (pronounced MANE-o-ME-ter). After subsequent refinement, I'm proud to announce the Maineometer (MAY-ne-AH-meh-ter). Both are patent-pending.

Stonington, four hours north of Portland, broke both devices with its piers, working fleet, singular main road (you've reached Stonington when the road stops at the ocean), scenic islands, calm waters, beach-shingle houses, and people so friendly they re-open their businesses when they find out you just got into town, then pour you a glass of California Pinot and share their photos from last winter's successive blizzards.

That's all to say, we need to stop at a cute little independent hardware store tomorrow to fix our Maine Meters.