Comparative Travel Assessment

As soon as we got here, Karen and I started to notice similarities to
other places we've been. And while every place is unique, there are a
few universal characteristics. Thus, we present Mexico, India and
Vietnam: A Comparative Study.

English
Spoken pretty much everywhere, at least to the degree that one can
order a beer and find a bathroom (usually in that order). Of course,
knowing how to say hello, please and thank you is always appreciated.
Winner: India. Despite having something like 80 native languages,
everyone speaks better English than New York cab drivers.

Airport Taxis
The ride into town is almost always the same: leaving the airport, one
first encounters billboards (in English) advertising condos,
timeshares and casinos. Next come the city outskirts, dominated by
single-story mashups of garages, food vendors and hawkers of
everything under the sun. There is always at least one kid scrapping
the rubber from bicycle tires. Then there's usually an industrial area
followed by the city itself.
Winner: Kind of a toss up between India and Vietnam. In Mexico there's
always the fear of climbing into an unauthorized cab and losing a
kidney, Indian drivers are exceptionally polite, but Vietnam is dirt
cheap (and polite).

Traffic
I love to drive but wouldn't in any of these places.
Winner: India. While Vietnam is insane, the sheer diversity and
quantity of people, livestock, cycles, tuk-tuks, cars, buses and heavy
equipment gives India the edge. Also, India gets bonus points for a
highly developed horn-based language.

Beer
Cheap and universally available (except on the Infosys campus in
Mysore).
Winner: Vietnam. Every town has their own brand, it's better than the
European imports, and it's $.50 a can.

Shopping and Souvenirs
Infinite quantites of crap exist everywhere; the trick is finding the
good stuff.
Winner: tie between Mexico and Vietnam. In the case of the latter, one
can get high quality, hand tailored suits (for only 2.7M dong you can
look like a million bucks) but shipping is slow and expensive. In the
case of the former, certain regions (Oaxaca) produce excellent mescal
which is easy to carry through customs (the posted limit is a liter
per person, but we brought back eight).

Urban Planning
Is non-existent.
Winner: none.

Pollution
It's the developing world. Enviro-anything is a luxury.
Winner: Mexico. With the exception of el DF, the air and water quality
are noticably better.

I'm sure additional comparisons will occur to us; feel free to suggest
your own in the comments. Hopefully we'll be adding Cambodia and
Thailand to the list soon.